hacksign crew goes on jeopardy
by air-ick M.16
Summary: Funny fic about weirdos, go easy on me, I'm a newbie. R&R you freaking people! Ladies and gentelmen, introducing... Ch.3
1. Default Chapter

DotHack crew goes on jeopardy Ch.1  
  
Host: Welcome to jeopardy, today we have a few game celebrities from "The  
World". We'll have to wait a minute for the players to log in. (Then little  
yellow circles appear and players appear)  
Host: Well, I guess I'll start introducing people. First we have Bear, then  
Subaru, Mimiru, and also that cat. Did I leave anybody out? (Some guy jumps  
out of nowhere)  
Sora: Booooiiiiiiiiinnnnnng! That never gets old!  
Mimiru: You have problems.  
Sora: No I don't, I'm just hi-! (He jumps again) Booooiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnng!  
Host: Sir, you need to stop.  
Sora: Make me! (He jumps again) Booiiiiiiiiinng!  
Host: Security! (Then the guards tie him down to his chair) We have an  
empty chair, is anyone missing?  
Sora: Ooooooooooh, can I touch the shiny button?  
Host: Not yet!  
Subaru: Tsukasa isn't here.  
Mimiru: Is he playing hooky, like that one time no one could find him?  
(Then Tsukasa appears through the wall)  
Mimiru: Why didn't you warp in?!?  
Tsukasa: Cause' I'm special! ^_______^  
Subaru: Hey Tsukasa, after the show, are you free?  
Mimiru: Quiet you, he's mine!  
Host: Anywaaayyyyy! Now we can get on with the show.  
Mimiru: No we can't, not until I kill her!  
Subaru: Be quiet, you cookie.  
Sora: Yeah, hahahahaha! Stupid cookie!(Falls on the floor because he's  
luaghing so hard) BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!  
Mimiru: I'm white in the real world! Shut up!  
Cat: Actually, she's white as a cloud in real life.  
Mimiru: Yeah, I'm white as a- Hey, what's that suppose to mean?  
What are you anyway, French?  
Cat: SI' I am french!  
Everybody: ~___O  
Host: Let's get on with the show, please? The categories are, "The key to  
the twilight", a player who can't log out, and the commander of the Skull  
knights.(Then Sora buzzes)  
Sora: The answer is Tsukasa! This button is pretty. I think I'll press it  
again.(Then he starts presing it so fast that it breaks off)  
Aww, man button go boom boom! Now no button to press.  
Host: Are you okay?  
Sora: Huh?. (Long pause) You'll never stop me! (He jumps about 9 feet this  
time) Boooiiiiiinnngg!(Then he lands and the chair breaks) You'll never  
take me alive! (He runs away)  
Host: Finally! He's gone! Now Tsukasa, pick a categorie.  
Tsukasa: Y-y-y-you're so selfish! (Starts to cry)  
Host: Arrrrrhhhgg! Somebody pick!(Mimiru buzzes) Yes!  
Mimiru; I'll take The key to the twilight for $400.  
Host: None of you probably know this one, but Tsukasa should.  
(Tsukasa buzzes) Yes?  
W-w-w-w-why are adults so selfish? (Cries again)  
Bear: Hey! (Subaru buzzes)  
Subaru: What is the floating girl?!?  
Host: That's correct, but I'm curious, how did you know?  
Subaru: After Tsukasa saw the girl, he freaked out and wrote the best  
message he could on the board. It said "Girl. Float. Key".  
Host: Whatever, somebody pick! (Mimiru buzzes) Yes?  
Mimiru: I'll take Subaru is a stupid freak for I'm gonna' kill her!  
Tsukasa is mine! (Then she tackles her and they start fighting)  
Tsukasa: You're all greedy! (Cries again and runs through the wall)  
Host: Well, now is a good time for a break, please buy their crap.  
Until next time. Bye! 


	2. Crazzzzzzy chapter

Dot Hack crew goes on Jeopardy Ch.2  
  
Host: welcome back everybody, I'm not sure that the fighting will stop any  
time soon. (Fighting moans in the background) Ugh, I hate my job. Umm,  
ladies. (No response) LADIES! (Then they swing around instantly. Mimiru has  
Subaru on the ground)  
Mimiru: what do you want, we're tied, we've both got 30 kills on each  
other. (Then Subaru got an evil look on her face and. Whack! Then Mimiru  
logged back in through the chaos gate)  
Mimiru: hey! Cheater, I was distracted!  
Host: Whatever! We're going to continue.  
Mimiru: No! Not until I say we are! (She runs over to Subaru, but Subaru  
kills her like it took no effort. Then she comes back)  
Host: Isn't it kinda weird that you both like Tsukasa, but he's a girl in  
real life?  
Mimiru: ugh, I think I'm gonna puke! You can have Tsukasa Subaru!  
Subaru: O__o  
Host: Now all we need is some more players. Hmm, I think I can get Tsukasa  
back, but Sora's gone off to smoke some Blunts.  
Mimiru: How are you gonna get Tsukasa back, He went through the wall?  
(Then the host pulls out a package of Twinkies)  
Host: this is how!  
Everyone: O__O (Then he threw the Twinkie where Tsukasa was sitting)  
Host: we have to be very quiet, and stay down. (Long silence)  
(Then Tsukasa walks in and sees nobody, then the Twinkies catch his eye and  
he start's drooling and gobbling on the package, Like a retarded animal.  
Then the guards sneak up and grab him, and he starts squealing like a  
retarded pig. The guards tie him to the chair really tight, then open the  
Twinkie and shove it in his mouth and he's happy)  
Host: one more chair need's to be filled. I've invited BLT, I mean BT, I'm  
just hungry, excuse my mistake. (Then BT comes in)  
BT: Hey everybody, I'm here. What game are we playing? I forgot.  
Host: Just shut-up, and begin to play. Okay, the categories are.  
The commander of the skull nights and Tsukasa's best friend.  
Okay BT, you pick a category.  
BT: Why?  
Host: Umm, cause you're suppose to.  
BT: Who says?  
Host: (Pulls out a shotgun) Ahem!  
BT: Okay. I'll take "The commander of the skull nights" for $400.  
Host: Thank you. (Puts away the shotgun) People, some of you should know  
this. It's an easy one, Especially you, Subaru.  
Subaru? (Then everyone notices that Subaru is sitting on the ground playing  
gameboy)  
Subaru: Duh. This game fun.  
Everyone: O__O  
Host: Subaru! Get up! (Then she jumps up with a jolt, and throws the  
gameboy on accident)  
Subaru: Nothing! What?  
Host: Were you listening?  
Subaru: Of course! You just said my name so I got up.  
Host: Forget it! (BT buzzes in) Yes, BT?  
BT: The answer is meeeeeeeee! I'm the queen!  
Host: R U okay? (Bear buzzes) Yes?  
Bear: the answer is Subaru, but she's not in command anymore.  
Host: That is correct. Thank yo- (Then BT interrupts by buzzing like 10  
times)  
BT: B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-but, I wanted to be the queen! (Starts to cry)  
Host: Shut-up! Subaru was never a queen!  
Subaru: Who says that I'm not queen material?!?!?!  
Host: ARRGGGGHHHH! Can we carry on, please?  
(Then Subaru and BT get evil looks on their faces)  
BT: Get em'!  
Host: Okay, now is a good time for a commercial b- (But then Subaru and BT  
tackle him)  
To be continued. 


	3. Queens, duct tape and random craziness

Dot Hack crew goes on Jeopardy Ch.3  
  
BT: Welcome everybody, to Queen BT's and princess Subaru's show. YAY! (In  
the background the host is tied up and dressed up in make-up like a girl.  
The place has been striped of all Items' that would resemble a Jeopardy  
show)  
Host: (Ruffled grunts) Ugh! (There's a long pause and then finally the  
security guards start to tie BT and Subaru to their chairs)  
BT: Stop! In the name of the queen! (Then he ties her to her chair)  
You can't do this to me. I'm the queeeeeeeee- (then the guard shoves a  
Twinkie in her mouth before she can finish)  
Subaru: Mommy, mommy, help me! (The guard picks her up and ties her to her  
chair) Is this any way to treat the princess?!?!?!?!  
Guard: Shut the $#%& up! You're not a princess!  
Host: (Grunts, and then they untie him) Why the **** didn't you come  
earlier?!?!?!  
Guard: Well, Dumb@$$, we were on our lunch break!  
Host: O_o. Well anyway, let's continue everybody we need to get rid of all  
this stuff. (Then they start ripping all the queen stuff down)  
BT: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I'm the queen and I demand you to stop!  
Everybody: No you're not! (The guard unties part of her hands and gives her  
a gameboy)  
BT: Duh. I like game.  
Host: Okay, now we can get on with the show, Bear is in the lead with $400.  
The categories are Tsukasa's best friend, and the famous hacker. Bear, you  
pick!  
Bear: Okay, I'll pick now. I choos- (Then Mimiru interrupts him)  
Mimiru: Hey! YOU SOUND REALLY POUNCY, LIKE AN ENGLISH PERSON, Why are you  
like that?  
Bear: Shut-up, little girl!  
Mimiru: No, I want a cookie!  
Bear: ARRRGGGHHHH!  
Mimiru: ENGLISH, ENGLISH RETARD!  
Bear: Gaurds! Tie her to her chair!  
(Then the Gaurds tie her to her chair)  
Mimiru: Ha! Retards! You forgot something! (Pushes her face forward)  
Gaurds: Ohhhhh, yeah! (They duct tape her mouth) What an idiot!  
Host: Umm, everybody's tied up, so we'll just have to wait and see after  
the commercial break, if we can untie them without them going crazy, I  
might not quit my job. Until then, bye! 


End file.
